This is for Brielle,
<3
This was during while she was having hard times, I know no one reads this but for you brielle, this was when i didnt know why u were in their, and didnt know how serious it was,
its corny but what ev




I sit here in disbelief,
Disbelief that you're not ok,
Disblief that you're not happy,
I sit here in shock,
Shock of what has happened before me,
Shock of what has occured,
And the sad thing is I dont know the whole story,
Like a rumor with out a source,
A source to be tracked too,
So you have no way to tell if it is really true,
I am told different things,
I am told many things,
But all I want to believe is one,
When I type here I relieve myself,
The stress of worry,
Worry of wether your stable at the moment,
Worry of if your really ok,
Or if you are hiding it,
The fact you are hurt,
Hurts me too,
Makes me bleed,
I bleed my tears,
Through my swolen eyes,
Unable to decipher weather my best friend is ok,
Wether she is comfortable right now,
And then I try to tell myself that your fine,
And thats what others tell me too,
But still, I believe you need my help,
As if it is my job to come comfort you,
When I heard the news,
I cried,
A trail of emotions,
Different emotions,
Layered up,
From worry, to shock,
From depression, to anger,
To sadness, to a unknown emotion,
In which I cannot describe,
That I havent felt before,
This emotion is new to me,
I feel a rush of sadness, worry, anger, shock and depression all together,
A mixture of all,
And it scares me,
Almost as much as this situation scares me,
Maybe this is not that serious,
Maybe your just their just to make sure your ok,
But maybe she said that just to comfort me,
When your really the one in need of comforting,
Maybe I will just end up waking up from this horrible dream,
This nightmare of hell,
A nightmare that surrounds me,
Choking me by the second,
The seconds, then the minutes, then the hours pass,
And still no sign from you,
I know you will come back home,
But will you be the same person is all that scares me,
Thats what worries me,
Because I dont want to loose my sister,
My bestfriend,
My number one care,
And maybe I am not what you are and were thinking about,
But all that matters to me is that I am thinking of you,
And that doesn't even matter as much as,
You coming home fine,
Getting the home you supposedly need,
And its the bond we share that is killing me,
I am over exagerating maybe,
But its just because This has never happened to me before,
I never have had someone else go through this,
I have shown such symptoms,
But no where to the degree in which you possess,
And its not just you,
I hear those stories,
Of you getting hurt,
And you getting hurt by the people you should be comforted by of all people,
You parents and boyfriends,
Just rememver boyfriends will come and pass,
But friendships are here to stay,
And even more important,
True friendships are even more important,
We share a bond that I find off the charts,
Where I would take the bullet for you in a heart beat,
And would hate to see you do the same,
Because you deserve life more then I do,
Not saying I am a bad person,
More that you are a beautiful girl in personality, inteligence and appearance,
And you will make it far in life,
I will make sure of that,
I had plans to see you today,
It is valentines day,
And even though I didn't know he broke up with you,
I was going to make sure you valentines day was special,
But thats not possible now,
And I almost find it my fault,
It is all of ourfaults, not yours,
We didn't get you help,
Not help because your messed up,
Its your surroundings that mess you up,
We love you,
You're what makes us smile,
And I for one wouldn't have it any other way,
If I could know what the whole story was,
I might not be writing this,
But really, If this never happened,
I think you would suffer even more,
things will get better,
You have my word,
Thats what you tell me,
And this is more serious then what I have been in,
So I dont know if what I am saying is impacting you,
Because thats why I write,
To impact you,
To impact me,
To impact the souls who witness the words I paint over this poem,
I need to see you,
I want to hold you in my arms,
To hold your warm grasp through a hug,
To be there when you need me most,
That time is now,
I can sense it
I really feel as if I can talk to you right now,
And the more I notice that... I cry,
And my emotions begin to die,
And they reincarnate and re-enter my body deeper,
As if they are multiplying their intensity.
It kills me to have to write this,
As you do not deserve this,
That should be me,
Not you,
But I cannot help it,
Im trying my best to contact you,
But I cant,
HOW CAN I!
Oh how I hate isolation,
The effects of it wither my soul away,

Obama Wins, Does Racism Stop?

I was thinking about what my blog should be about today, and I want to keep it on Obama for as long as I can, due to the epicicity(is that even a word?) of this recent election. And after reviewing my last blog, (yesterday) I saw a picture of Rev. Al Sharpton crying. I thought about this because since he is a activist for African Americans and President (That sounds good) Barack Obama, is a African American (Not a practiced muslim).
Furthermore, it appears that I asked my self will racism be as bad (or even better) stop because our president is African American?
One would hope that racism would not be a issue anymore, but then I thought about it. Racism is caused usually by uneducated people.(meaning people who do not take the time to hear the facts, rather they listen to the first thing someone says) This unfortunatley is true, because we (as in the non racist people) know that there are very wealthy and successful African Americans in this world. From Oprah, to Senator Barack Obama, there are African Americans liveing the American dream just like some whites. However, some people are either A) stubborn, B) do not take the time to look into these topics, or C) believe what ever someone tells them.
Can you explain to me why so many Louisiannians were not aided as quickly as what was nesscessary? Did you notice how most of the time the people on the roofs who were not aided right away were African American or Latino?

For Example look at this, it shows a white person "finding" something, and in the same magazine I believe, and a black person "looting" "or stealing" things, when they are both doing the same thing...

Because, a portion of US citizens who are not African American or Latino are somewhat racist. The KKK does still exist, there is a Nazi party that exists among us. There are minor Nazi groups in the US and world. People below will comment and say "no we arent racist" but they will feel wierd when someone who is different like them are sitting next to them they probably feel uncomfortable. Which is O.K. You can not help that, it's the ignorance among our elders who affect how we are towards people who are different.

To get back on topic, since like I previously said, will the clutch of the US presidency from African American President Barack Obama, help cure racism? I think it wont, because people NOW are starting to say, America is screwed, when we should of realized this 8 Years ago! Like I have said, we are currently funding a unnescessary war, killing innocent people in a different country, and in trillions more dollars in debt than we were before REPUBLICAN George Bush was in office. We are funding stupid and useless programs, which is wasting our money. Then to top it off, we are paying our enemies, for poison for our earth. We are just a sick sick country,and if we are already not the leading country, then we will be extremely soon. Just watch what George Bush does in his last days, I don't know why we didn't impeach him already.

Comments are nice,
Thanks,
Tyler Curtis

Thoughts

Hey guys,
I am not going to talk about politics because I am getting a little annoyed at it myself, and I am done with being happy about Obama winning. Of course I am still in awe that America chose the right man for the job, but it is just not right to talk about it for 3 or 4 blogs straight. So, now I am going to write about things that I feel I can write about here on my Myspace. However, before I get to that, I want to explain why I am even writing "this" and the other blogs. Well, I have been told, that some people don't really know you, and by writing something like this, could help express yourself. Which is what I really want to do. I am not trying to draw attention, rather, just let you guys what I am about. So, essentially, imagine as a blog as a never ending me. (well you can minipulate how long you continue this) That is another reason why I like this blog feature on myspace, I can:
A- Write about WHATEVER I want.
B- Write WHENEVER I want,
C- Write how long, or little I want,
D- Express myself
To get on topic, (If there is one), or should I say, to create a general topic, I want to write about some things that are on my mind.
So... I'm going to take a shot at this, and I am not to sure where it will go, because I am writing this as I go, I have no idea what I will write about. I feel like talking about music (maybe because I am currently listening to some right now). As I get more mature and older in my teen years (haha), I am noticing that music is more of a way to escape reality rather then a stereotype requirement (Example: Listening to Bob Marley just because you want to cool with the stoners). I used to listen to hip-hop and rap, only because I wanted to fit in with my group of friends, who listened to rap music. Which leads me to believe music is more and more starting to become a trend rather then a way to express yourself. With that, I do find the music you listen to does influence you, which leads to how you express yourself, not nesscisarily to fit in to a stereotype which everyone is trying to do these days. So, essentially that would make music a way to express yourself as a music artist, and as a music enthusiast. However, that is not the reason why I listen to it. I like to escape my troubles with music of course because if you can forget about your negativity then of course it is great. Another reason why I listen to music is because I love the feeling of those goosebumps you get when something amazing happens. I don't know if it is just me, and/or the musical genre I listen to, because the music I enjoy is the only kind that gives me this sensation I can not explain. I also acknoledge the creativity, the talent, and the heart going into music, which makes the song, album, or artist that much better. It is possible that I am the only one who gets this way, because when I am bored, or when I am interested in something, I look deep into it to either pull out something interesting, or to like it even better. If you know me, then you would know how big my musical variety is, I like everything from jamgrass (A mixture of jamband and bluegrass) to reggae, to classic rock and the counting crowes (I don't know where to put them under). With music, there is so much you can learn, and that always interests me, along with the talent, creativity etc. etc.
Thanks,
Tyler Curtis