This is for Brielle,
<3
This was during while she was having hard times, I know no one reads this but for you brielle, this was when i didnt know why u were in their, and didnt know how serious it was,
its corny but what ev




I sit here in disbelief,
Disbelief that you're not ok,
Disblief that you're not happy,
I sit here in shock,
Shock of what has happened before me,
Shock of what has occured,
And the sad thing is I dont know the whole story,
Like a rumor with out a source,
A source to be tracked too,
So you have no way to tell if it is really true,
I am told different things,
I am told many things,
But all I want to believe is one,
When I type here I relieve myself,
The stress of worry,
Worry of wether your stable at the moment,
Worry of if your really ok,
Or if you are hiding it,
The fact you are hurt,
Hurts me too,
Makes me bleed,
I bleed my tears,
Through my swolen eyes,
Unable to decipher weather my best friend is ok,
Wether she is comfortable right now,
And then I try to tell myself that your fine,
And thats what others tell me too,
But still, I believe you need my help,
As if it is my job to come comfort you,
When I heard the news,
I cried,
A trail of emotions,
Different emotions,
Layered up,
From worry, to shock,
From depression, to anger,
To sadness, to a unknown emotion,
In which I cannot describe,
That I havent felt before,
This emotion is new to me,
I feel a rush of sadness, worry, anger, shock and depression all together,
A mixture of all,
And it scares me,
Almost as much as this situation scares me,
Maybe this is not that serious,
Maybe your just their just to make sure your ok,
But maybe she said that just to comfort me,
When your really the one in need of comforting,
Maybe I will just end up waking up from this horrible dream,
This nightmare of hell,
A nightmare that surrounds me,
Choking me by the second,
The seconds, then the minutes, then the hours pass,
And still no sign from you,
I know you will come back home,
But will you be the same person is all that scares me,
Thats what worries me,
Because I dont want to loose my sister,
My bestfriend,
My number one care,
And maybe I am not what you are and were thinking about,
But all that matters to me is that I am thinking of you,
And that doesn't even matter as much as,
You coming home fine,
Getting the home you supposedly need,
And its the bond we share that is killing me,
I am over exagerating maybe,
But its just because This has never happened to me before,
I never have had someone else go through this,
I have shown such symptoms,
But no where to the degree in which you possess,
And its not just you,
I hear those stories,
Of you getting hurt,
And you getting hurt by the people you should be comforted by of all people,
You parents and boyfriends,
Just rememver boyfriends will come and pass,
But friendships are here to stay,
And even more important,
True friendships are even more important,
We share a bond that I find off the charts,
Where I would take the bullet for you in a heart beat,
And would hate to see you do the same,
Because you deserve life more then I do,
Not saying I am a bad person,
More that you are a beautiful girl in personality, inteligence and appearance,
And you will make it far in life,
I will make sure of that,
I had plans to see you today,
It is valentines day,
And even though I didn't know he broke up with you,
I was going to make sure you valentines day was special,
But thats not possible now,
And I almost find it my fault,
It is all of ourfaults, not yours,
We didn't get you help,
Not help because your messed up,
Its your surroundings that mess you up,
We love you,
You're what makes us smile,
And I for one wouldn't have it any other way,
If I could know what the whole story was,
I might not be writing this,
But really, If this never happened,
I think you would suffer even more,
things will get better,
You have my word,
Thats what you tell me,
And this is more serious then what I have been in,
So I dont know if what I am saying is impacting you,
Because thats why I write,
To impact you,
To impact me,
To impact the souls who witness the words I paint over this poem,
I need to see you,
I want to hold you in my arms,
To hold your warm grasp through a hug,
To be there when you need me most,
That time is now,
I can sense it
I really feel as if I can talk to you right now,
And the more I notice that... I cry,
And my emotions begin to die,
And they reincarnate and re-enter my body deeper,
As if they are multiplying their intensity.
It kills me to have to write this,
As you do not deserve this,
That should be me,
Not you,
But I cannot help it,
Im trying my best to contact you,
But I cant,
HOW CAN I!
Oh how I hate isolation,
The effects of it wither my soul away,